The reason for the dream that King Kosala had about two thousand five hundred years ago was the unrighteous behaviour of the people. By looking at the socialised environment, we can understand how many lives have been endangered by giving in to the unsatisfied desires that arise in the human mind. Is there an environment today where a child who has been separated from his parents can freely behave in society, and who has created it? The people who are considered responsible in the country are the ones who should be responsible for this. Also, even if you take your children away from their parents and enrol them in a school that is considered famous, it will not be good for the child. There are three elements that should be developed and developed in social individuals. Namely,
* Head
* Hand
* Heart
If these elements are developed systematically and properly, that person will be a person who is beneficial to society. Every person who is not like this is a disgrace to society, not a good thing. Parents, you should ask yourself what kind of child you are giving to society.
You may be a wealthy person in society. Therefore, you will not face any obstacles or any physical difficulties in raising a child. Therefore, you may send your child to a high-class, wealthy school. But what if you do not find out what your child does after that? What will happen? Mom, Dad, your child may leave for school at 6.00 in the morning. Even if you return home at 8.00 in the evening, do you ask about him? If you do not ask him or her about it, you will expect that the child's school is high and that it will prepare the brain as well as the heart. Although the child's brain is prepared by learning, the heart cannot be prepared. Religions have emerged among us for this purpose. We should make sure to develop the soul to prepare our heart according to our respective religions. But if you do not incline your child towards religion, in the end you have created a person with only a brain and no heart. In the end, the child will also be dissatisfied and see his life as a harsh life. Also, as parents, you will only receive the kind of treatment that you would expect from a heartless person.
Due to the love that is a germ in the current school, our children have become a group that runs after emotions. A child who runs after such unsatisfied desires that are inappropriate for their age will be tempted to make decisions such as suicide or marry at a young age and make their lives dark. Our Buddhist children who take refuge in Buddhism, which shows the right path and the wrong path, often go astray due to the activities of our parents.
In urban areas, wealthy parents spend the night in clubs. Seeing this, the child may seek love and resort to sexual activities as he does not receive love from his parents except wealth. This is a serious problem in urban society. In this way, children in urban schools as well as rural schools are tempted to engage in sexual activities. It seems that electronic media has also been a factor in this.
Some students have had sexual relations even in school, as we have heard. Sometimes, teachers caught them and they committed suicide because they could not bear the shame. Children, following unsatisfied desires during school will lead to your own destruction.
There are things you should and should not do at your age. Whether it is because you do not believe it or because you do not know the adverse effects of engaging in such useless activities, or because you do not have anyone to explain it to you, you may see situations where you engage in such activities and darken your education, future dreams, etc.
In any case, my dear daughter, son, you should think about only one thing. That is, if I complete the learning process properly and get involved in a high-level job, I can build a beautiful future like a beautiful flower blooming on a beautiful tree. When you instil such a stream of thoughts in your mind, you will also try hard to fulfill that dream. The end result of this is that you will reach your goal, the path of victory, and be constantly loved and respected by those around you. Children, as I said before, you should ensure that your children do not become a disgrace to society by failing in their future in vain activities.
Another special thing that you should know as parents. That is, as parents with children, you should behave responsibly when engaging in sexual activities. That is, your child may sometimes study at night. Then you need to support your child in that task. As a parent, you should have the strength to suppress your sexual desires for your child. If you think about your needs more than your child's education, it is a great injustice that you are doing to your child. For example, if you send your children to bed early and rush to their sexual activities, you cannot compensate for the loss suffered by a child who is accustomed to studying at night.
That means that the child becomes lazy. Then you will have the opportunity to see the saying of the lazy man's paradise as a reality in your own child. So, aren't you the one who introduces your child to society as a weakling or a lazy person? A boy will at least earn a living by doing some hired work. But if a girl finds herself in this situation, she may try to build a second life by going to a garment factory. Also, no matter how you fulfill your duties as parents, there are many children among us who do not limit their education. Advice has been given for that too.
However, since every aspect of the child also affects the parents, you have a direct responsibility for your child. You should understand it well and be determined to be the creators of creating a successful child.
The success or failure of our future generation will cause or destroy the future development of the country as well as the society. As parents, you should ask yourself how is my child prepared for this? Where is he?
Another unfortunate situation seen in our family environments is that there are a large number of children in a family without any age gap. This situation greatly affects the mental state of the children. A married couple also has a good understanding and responsibility in planning their family.
If another child is born in a family a year or two after the birth of the first child, the first child cannot be properly nourished. That is, a child who drinks breast milk cannot fulfill that need properly. Also, a mother cannot fulfill the tasks of two children equally. Due to this, the first child will lose the nourishment, love, and warmth that the first child should receive. One reason for this may be that the responsibilities and duties that you have as a husband and a father are secondary to your desires. However, if you as a wife and husband had gained knowledge about family planning methods and birth control, you would have had the opportunity to build a better and more beautiful family environment.
It is also a pity that the majority of families with lower educational levels have not been informed about this issue. Also, such problems are likely to arise when the male side gets addicted to drugs and indulges his desires without a good conscience. Dear parents, if your desire is to make your children educated, intelligent children who will be useful to the world of tomorrow, then control and planning are essential in family life. Also, you will have to make many sacrifices for your children. Isn't all this just comfort for you?
The environment also has a special impact on the success of a child's education. That is, the family environment as well as the living environment will be a special factor. It appears that this situation strongly affects the children of ordinary fishing families living in slum families and the lowest class of urban living. That is, a child of a family living in a small plot of land in a slum environment will be subjected to various physical and mental pains. The jobs of the parents living at such a level will also affect the child's mentality. The child may have a limited amount of land to do all the activities to fulfill the needs of the parents. How can a child develop a mental state suitable for education in such an environment? The child will be mentally lost in an environment where they do not know their own individuality or freedom, as well as what they see and experience.
Despite these facts, everyone who seeks happiness in life hopes to move to a higher level of society someday, and such children also have that aspiration.
In today's society, where money cannot buy everything, how much do children and people living in such environments suffer without money? Many of the problems we face, big or small, are caused by our own meaningless and meaningless actions. Also, the solutions to every problem that arises in this way are within us. Although those who receive life should mature and enjoy it and see its end for themselves, how many lives are destroyed in vain today? You should ask yourself this.
When you examine the above points together, it will be clear that the various actions you take as parents are direct factors in the collapse of the future of your children.
Another point is that you, as parents, may be expressing your boundless love for your children in the wrong way. That is, giving something to a child as soon as he asks for it is a very wrong thing to do. We should also examine this.
Do not teach your child about gifts or small bribes with false hopes. By sending a child to education in the hope of a phone, a toy, or other expensive valuables, the child pursues it in the hope of the reward it will receive. That learning is done merely to pass the exam. After the exam, the child forgets everything, as if dropping a burden that he was carrying.
Dear parents, that is not what you should do. That is, explain the truth to your child. That through learning he can enjoy happiness in the future and motivate him to enjoy those happiness. Then your child will naturally focus on education. Similarly, your child who is chasing after prizes thinks that learning is unpleasant as soon as he fails the exam. It may be difficult to get him to study again. Parents, then you have made a mistake in loving. The child should understand the happiness that comes from learning as well as the difficulties that he will face if he fails in education. After the child understands the humiliation and insults that a fool receives from society and the hardships that he has to face when he does not have money, he should understand that the only way to get rid of it is through education. Through that, the child will naturally get rid of it and get educated to enjoy the happiness in the future. In this way, you encourage the child and provide him with the necessary equipment for his education. It is your responsibility to talk to him with love and teach him what he does not know. Otherwise, do not make false promises and darken the child's future.
Another discipline that some parents do to their children is to give mobile phones to their children. Perhaps you have brought this because of your boundless love for your child or for the safety of your children. But did you know that today, mobile phones have darkened the future of the children's generation and have become a carrier of diseases? There is no need to explain the horror of a small child picking up a knife. The same is true of children who are educated without a proper understanding of society getting mobile phones in their hands.
From the day you give your child a phone, he can be tempted to engage in various immoral activities. If so, you, the parent, have paved the way for the destruction of your child, right? When the child asks for such a thing, you should explain to your child that it is something unnecessary for a child. You can also explain to your child as follows.
"Son/Daughter, everything in this house is what my mother and I earned through hard work. We have a future because we earned these things through hard work. You too should study hard. Study hard and find a good job first. Earn money hard. Then you can get all the comforts and facilities you need. Otherwise, when you pick up the phone and travel on the road or bus, society will scold and insult your parents. Why are we being insulted in vain? Therefore, think about your education first and all the comforts you need in the future will automatically come to you later."
By explaining this to your children, you can direct them towards the right thing. The knowledge that you give to your child will be the greatest gift you can give him. Otherwise, you cannot expect relief from your child either.
Also, based on the love you have for your child, you should take action to correct it the first time you see it. Not correcting the mistake after seeing it is an incitement to the child to make mistakes. If you do not punish your child for his/her mistake today and guide him/her in the right direction, tomorrow what the child does will be a punishment for you.
Young children are quickly drawn to the various styles they see in the media or on the street. Parents, children are drawn to modern styles that are not suitable for the child and are not compatible with our culture because you bring them that. This is what causes the child to engage in various wrongdoings. The results of the child imitating Western styles and feelings are situations such as parents having to spend their old age in a poor house. Therefore, show the child the good culture we have. Nurture the child in it. Show the child our civilized characteristics through the temple and Dhamma school. Through this, a high and strong personality will be built in the child and the habit of chasing foreign styles and feelings will disappear. Also, as parents, be a role model when you should be an example to the child. This is what many parents do not do. It seems that the tendency of both men and women to have extramarital affairs has increased in today's society. You may have children. What kind of example is the child getting from you being with someone else while they are still their husband or wife at an age when they understand something? Will you then be able to explain something to your child or give him advice? No. Children will not hold you back even for a single copper penny.
"Mom / Dad, why do you do that and why do you say no to me?"
The child will definitely say. But, daughter, son, you should think that this is not the only way we, as human beings, should behave like this. As children, you may also see that your parents are being despised and humiliated by society by behaving like this. Then you should understand why your parents are being humiliated like this? I should get out of this situation and build a good personality.
Dear daughter, do you also find yourself in the same situation when you know that your mother is committing adultery with someone else, and yet she is being despised and humiliated by society? That is why the Buddha has said that it is better to spend one day with a virtuous person than to live for hundreds of years with a wicked person. Why can't you act with understanding about life? It is because of the irrational fear that others around you will be an obstacle. Daughter, son, you should think that if I am right, there is no one in this world who can defeat me. Otherwise, a Buddha would not have appeared in this world.
❤️
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